Caring for Aging Parents: Home Care Guide
Usually, the older people are, the younger their children are. And when our parents get older, they can end up depending on us again. This time, though, they tend to become the children, and we become the parents. It can be challenging and sometimes even delightful. It demands a delicate balance of feelings, common sense, patience, goodwill, and tough practicalities. Home care for aging parents is often the preferred option for families because it keeps loved ones in the most comfortable and familiar surroundings and comes with a personal touch. Here, we’ll share everything we know about caring for aging parents at home, including emotional support, practicalities, and security. 1. Understanding the Emotional Impact Caring for parents in later life can be a very emotionally fraught time. You might feel sadness at the sight of your parents changing and becoming more dependent, fear about what lies ahead, and even guilt that you might not be doing enough for them. Thinking through these feelings and sharing them with someone – a family member, friend, or counselor – is important. You are not alone. It’s nothing to feel bad about. Reach out. 2. Assessing Your Parent’s Needs Is your parent mobile? Can you assist with daily personal hygiene functions, such as dressing or bathing? Does she need trips to the doctor? Partial or round-the-clock nursing? To start, it’s important to identify what your parent needs. As you’ll see, those needs can be broadly defined. From basics such as daily personal hygiene (so-called activities of daily living or ADLs) to medical attention (instrumental activities of daily living or IADLS), there’s a lot to consider. Here are the steps, starting at the beginning. 3. Creating a Safe Home Environment Providing care for aging parents in their homes is not always as much fun as some great poets and writers would have you believe. While carers can find great meaning in taking care of their parents, the actual tasks involved in keeping them safe, warm, and thriving can be quite challenging. Safety is a major concern, for example, as mobility declines and the risk of falls increases. The home environment should be made as safe and comfortable as possible. Some good suggestions are described below. 4. Developing a Care Plan 5. Managing Finances and Legal Matters Adult children often find it difficult to initiate conversations about their parents’ financial and legal affairs, but it can be even worse to let things slide until a point when it’s too late. Questions you might have to grapple with include: 6. Balancing Caregiving with Other Responsibilities Whether they’re a sandwich generation drowning in daily care duties or are simply trying to add a few more minutes to a mother’s day while navigating their career responsibilities and family obligations, the perils of burnout are not far off for many family caregivers. Keeping balance is key. Here are some tips. 7. Recognizing When It’s Time for Additional Help Sometimes we realize that, as their needs evolve, the home is no longer suitable, and they might need a higher level of care. Here are some clues that you might decide it is time to look for more support: 8. Exploring Home Care Services Home care services offer a helping hand to sons and daughters who are stretched to the limit in caring for an aging parent. If you are struggling with your tempestuous family life, now might be the right time to consider home care services. The objective of home care is to afford the elderly the highest quality of life possible and ease the burden on sons and daughters who gladly accept the task. Here’s what you should look for in a home care service. Types of Home Care Services: Personal Care Aides: Help with daily activities such as bathing, dressing, and meal preparation. Home Health Aides: Provide healthcare tasks (giving medications, monitoring vital signs, etc) under the direction of a healthcare professional. 9. Navigating the Challenges of Dementia Care Parents with dementia may exhibit challenging behavior as they grapple with the loss of memory and language, their reaction to which can be frustrating for those closest to them. Families discover ways to adapt. Caregivers for dementia encourage a calm attitude, using ‘redirection’ (drawing the parent’s attention away from the triggering behavior) and ‘reality orientation’ (reminding elderly family members of basic biographical details and the current time and place to minimize confusion). For those who care for parents with dementia, here are a few strategies to help. 10. Planning for the Future Planning for your parent’s future care as they get older is an essential step in preparing yourself and your parent for the road ahead. Creating a clear vision of what each of you wants will help provide for care needs over the long term. It involves talking about deep, end-of-life concerns, providing care options, and sorting out finances and legal issues. The steps include: What legal documents should I have in place for my aging parent’s care? When caring for aging parents, you need a legal arsenal to make sure their wishes are honored and their needs met. Here’s a checklist that should get you started: 1. Advance Directives Advance directives help spell out your parent’s wishes for medical care should they no longer be able to express them – the so-called ‘thing’ category includes: Living Will: States the kinds of end‐of‐life medical care your parents wish to receive or avoid, like resuscitation or life‐sustaining measures. Healthcare Power of Attorney: Appoint a representative to make medical decisions for you if you become incapacitated. 2. Durable Power of Attorney (DPOA) A Durable Power of Attorney authorizes your parent to name someone to serve as their power of attorney to manage financial matters in the event they are unable to make or communicate such decisions. 3. Last will A last will is a document that tells who should receive your parent’s assets upon death. It declares an executor who will carry out your parents’ estate and helps to prevent
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